|May. 28th, 2007 08:56 pm Good Things in Small Packages|
I haven't written in here all semester, but I happened to look at my page and I don't want to leave my livejournal hanging on such a sad note. A lot has happened and it feels like a million years have gone by since Mike died. It was a terrible thing and it really shook the Benchies for awhile, but I think it also brought everyone a little closer together and for the most part people are feeling better now.
Since I last wrote, I got a job (at Campus Convenience), had a girlfriend (briefly), and finished a whole other semester. I still don't feel completely attached to BU or completely divorced from Hunter, but I think it's becoming easier and easier. When I left BU to come home, I felt good about my grades and my friends and my overall situation.
Two weeks ago I went back to Hunter and played two periods of Arts Day. It was awesome! I sold a lot of CDs and got much praise and mainly it was just fun. I wasn't nervous at all and it was much smoother than most of my live performances. I also had a good chat with Ms. Kuberska, who told me a joke about East Berlin that had "fuck" in it. That alone was worth the whole visit.
As nice as it was, I certainly felt more distant from the place than I did at Homecoming, and frankly this whole year. It was kind of sad, but kind of comforting. It's really time to move on, and witnessing that change and feeling it in a definite way makes it easier to move forward and really dig into all the new things going on.
And there are a lot of new things going on. I am just overflowing with life plans right now. I'm doing a Classics/American Studies double major, I'm going to be a camp counselor this summer, I just finished my second CD, called "Good Things in Small Packages" (lovely cover art by Grace), and I have developing plans to go to Israel and to study abroad in South Africa. It'll be difficult, but I think I can make them happen. Some people think this much certainty and planning is a bad thing, and sometimes I think it is too, but right now I'm grateful for such a strong sense of direction and such intense discipline. I think if I didn't have these plans, I would really lose momentum and have trouble coming back to school or really doing much of anything.
It's really been a hard year, in completely different ways than I anticipated. I thought the social part would be easy, and being away from my parents and having to do my own laundry would be the tough part. In reality, finding friends was definitely the biggest challenge. But being away from BU has given me time to realize it has happened, and, even more importantly, that the friends I already had are just as important to me now as they've ever been.
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